Tuesday, 21 July 2015

hidden desires

When you're into someone but you know in the beginning that you cannot be with this person because he was with your friend at the time you were crushing on him so you kept it to yourself for almost over a decade... Now it's been a few years since they've broken up and she's happy with who she is now... and he was left... single... Now it's out and he knows... and you're chatting and it's getting hot and steamy and you're really into it... You really enjoy the conversations... Remembering the time when he actually went to visit me all the way from Europe and his sole purpose was to meet me in person. OMG Too bad I was in a relationship at the time which I ended months after. Why didn't I ended it a few months sooner? Why now? Now that he's in a relationship with someone else and you're still talking? I feel guilty then I don't... Why? Because I know I've known him longer than she ever did, even if they'd spent more time together yet he still kept in touch with me? Because? Let's see how things go and only time can tell what will happen next...

Wednesday, 15 July 2015

My open letter for the Ex-boyfriend

It has been a few months since I ended this relationship where sometimes after, I had thought, maybe wished, that I did not end it. I'm glad that we remained friends... it's really important for me to keep you in my life because you're a true person. I'm glad I have met you (thanks to Tinder). I'm glad to have been with you as your girlfriend... I'm also glad that it's over and that we are moving forward with our lives. I will always miss you because I really care for you, maybe because I also still love you. We have been seeing other people and we know it hurts us both or we're just jealous, but that's just how we are and we cannot change it. I'm happy if you're happy and I am super thankful and glad to have someone like you. The next person you will love will be lucky maybe. I ended this because I didn't wanna be controlled. I didn't wanna be in a relationship and I wanted my freedom. I wanted to see other people. I didn't want to cheat on you because you don't deserve it and I'm not that kind of person anymore. Some say (even you said), once a cheater, always a cheater. It's not always the same. I don't want you to change and I hope that the next person will accept who you are... your strengths and weaknesses. Your fears... (of roaches) the way you simply are because you are you! I really hope you find happiness just like when and how you showed me before. Too bad the ship has sailed. I really hoped that there could be another chance... but I'm okay that there is none. I guess it's really over. I'm still here for you as a friend if you need me. I appreciate everything you've done and still do for me. Thank you!